Thursday, September 07, 2006

Thank you, Pat Buchanan...

...you lovable whackdoodle, you. Just for shits and giggles (several giggles by now), I Googled "Soviet Canuckistan." Goodness, that joke's taken off. For a bizarre gaffe in the popular press (or at least it got picked up and run with by the press here), it has legs beyond its creator's wildest dreams. There are now approximately 43 000 references to the phrase in Google's corpus. Wow.

I had at one time planned to make up some nice fancy letterhead and send Ole Pat a little letter. What I wrote about it at the time was:
The People's Republic of Soviet Canuckistan
From the Desk of the People's Minister of Media and Communications
People's Hero Comrade Interrobang

To Mr. Patrick Buchanan:

Dear Mr. Buchanan,

Many thanks for your courageous recognition of Soviet Canuckistan in the face of overwhelming suppression and censorship. With your help, and the help of other like-minded allies and friends standing in solidarity, we may yet overthrow our capitalist Canadian opressors, who deny the ascendency of the international working class and continue to repress our hopes for independent statehood. We long for the day when we can at last establish the true People's Republic of Soviet Canuckistan. Official acknowledgment from respected US officials such as yourself can only further our glorious cause.

For peace, prosperity, industry, order, and good government in solidarity with Canuckistani workers (and workers everywhere), I remain.

Cordially,

People's Hero Interrobang,
Minister of Media and Communications
The People's Republic of Soviet Canuckistan



Now, if that wouldn't have the guy seeing Canadian Commies in his Corn Flakes, I don't know what would.

Sometimes I think Pat Buchanan's biological clock says, "The ideological time at the tone is 1954. Beeeep!"

Knowing what I now know about modern US so-called "conservatives," all of their ideological (not biological) clocks are permanently stuck in 1954. That applies to their approaches to domestic, foreign, and personal policy.

I may yet write a version of the letter, urging him to express further support of the nascent People's Republic. Then again, considering that I'd probably have to put my name on it, maybe not. As that great shit-disturber par excellence Jello Biafra always says about pranks, one of the best reasons for not doing a prank is if you don't like the answer to "What if I get caught?"

5 Comments:

Blogger Anne Johnson said...

I recently read a newspaper editorial by Pat Buchanan in which he criticized Bush's handling of the Iraq war. I was absolutely flabbergasted. However, it did not improve my low opinion of that moron. Send him to Kansas!

3:33 PM  
Blogger LeoPetr said...

I live in Canuckistan. I am a Canuck. I speack Canuckese.

Johnson: Buchanan's an isolationist. He's against foreign wars, including Iraq.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Eli said...

I think you should personally deliver the letter in your black UN helicopter.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Interrobang said...

That's "dark blue NATO helicopter," in real life. But yeah, that would be kind of funny. D'you suppose I could really freak him out if I had a shoulder flash that said "ZOG," or is he not one of those?

11:47 PM  
Blogger Gibraltariana said...

What can I say? Currently in the political realm of villages it seems we your Southern neighbors are boasting the most idiots.

9:03 PM  

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